I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My liver just had a heart attack.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
