; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i dont even know how to be here
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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