Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
