how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
