i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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