Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
