she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
