no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
