No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
