just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
