that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The power of my boobs compel you
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
