Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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