chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
