how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
