did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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