I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize