I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I enjoy the company of your penis
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
