he puts the penis in happiness.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
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I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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