You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
