Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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