did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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