Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
