Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
