you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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