they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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