Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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