I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
3pm strippers are depressing
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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