spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Boobs speak an international language.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
