home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
