I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
