somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize