I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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