cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
