Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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