OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I didn't shave. On purpose
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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