i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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