Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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