C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
