I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
