Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
