$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
