He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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