is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
