why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
