so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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