it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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