bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
