Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
