I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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