It's never too late to be topless.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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