wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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