we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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