girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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