A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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