is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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