I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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