remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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