I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
