he told me I talked like a deaf person
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
