Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
