Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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