The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
