brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
